I started this blog because I had to. I needed this more than I knew and it was about damn time.
Over a year ago I started getting a heart stirring about writing a blog, and I pushed it to the side.
Every time I thought about it, I was immediately shot down by all the reasons it would fail. I would fail.
“I don’t have time.”
“There is no point to this.”
“I’m not a professional writer.”
“I have nothing to say.”
“Why would anyone read my stuff?”
“Who do I think I am putting my thoughts out there as if they are important?”
That last one in particular shut me down each and every time. I would hear it, and then stop myself from continuing any thoughts about blogging, or even writing in a private journal. It was odd how much that statement controlled me, but I never thought much into it or realized the crippling power it had.
But for some reason, I kept seeing this quote:
I would see it and I would feel released from the constraints of my doubts.
What if I don’t fail? What if I fly?
If I never give it a shot, I won’t know. The thought of that is much worse than if I tried and failed. A boring life is led in fear. I don’t want a boring life- I want a full one, bursting at the seams.
Then I felt that inner urging from God. He put this dream in me before I was formed. The closer I got to Him, the clearer I saw who I was.
Before- such a lost pup looking to everyone and everything to help define me.
You are not defined by opinion or material, you are defined by who your Maker created you to be.
He is the only one who can reveal that. Others will try to corner you into their opinion of your strengths and weaknesses, but the Lord is the only One who knows the strengths you are not even aware of- because He put them there. He put those gifts in you. They can’t be unwrapped unless you go with hands open ready to receive. Seek Him and you will find who you are.
I’ll tell you a secret. You will be surprised.
When He begins revealing, you will be stunned.
Stunned by the careful stitching He did to weave together such a complex person. Stunned by the realization that the very things you are self-conscious about will probably be the very things He uses. The enemy knows this. He knows what a powerful tool a child of God, who knows their identity, is in the Kingdom.
More than likely, if you are being attacked in an area with crippling self-doubt, press into it.
Because, my darling, it feels damn good to spread those wings and fly.
Edited to add: This post took me awhile to actually finish. I realized some things while writing it that I wasn’t aware of prior. They came as sort of a shock and I needed some time to process and pray through them. This is why I love writing so much. This is why this blog has become such an enormous blessing to me. It’s through writing that I really find out who I am. Both strengthening what I know to already be there and bringing out what I had no clue existed. I love it so much. So, if you want to write. Do it. If you want to paint, sing, plant, sew. Whatever it is, do it. You have no idea how much you can soar until you jump